"Bring the Rain"

Today has been a frustrating day. As you can see she has learned to pull my glasses off. I think Gabriella may have let me put her down for a total of thirty minutes today. In the middle of piles of laundry I had been folding, I sat with a child clung to me and I began to worry about all the small, petty things that were bothering me. You know, bills, work, marriage, etc. And as Gabby began to use me as a jungle gym, I started to wonder if I would be happier working full time. My days are spent cleaning up spit up and poop, I scramble to get laundry done and the house cleaned and find something for supper. I have no adult conversation for the majority of the day. The conversations I do have are with a six month old and consist of "You pooped again!" or "I'm gonna get your belly!" And after all my time spent, Nick walks through the door and Gabby starts crying for him. I am ashamed to admit that I was jealous of Nick getting a "break" two weekends in a row. Here I was just wanting five minutes to myself, and he was getting days! After Gabby went to bed, I began reading emails and catching up on blogs. I just happened to remember a friend from work telling me about a lady starting a blog right after she found out her fourth child would be born with several terminal illnesses. I decided to just scroll through her blog and catch the highlights. Fortunately, when I got to her blog it was so long I had to start from the beginning. I got through one entry before I began to break down crying. Here I was, all day long grumbling because my daughter wanted me to hold and love on her all the time. Here I was doubting whether or not staying home with her was the right place for me and this woman sat pouring her heart out to whoever would listen about how God had blessed her and would be with her and her family through this difficult time. After I dried my eyes, I crept into Gabby's room, picked her up, and rocked her. I thanked God for giving me such a wonderful, spunky, beautiful daughter. As I sat staring at her, I couldn't help but cry thinking of how she is the product of an amazing love I have for Nick. God gave me the answer to all my small and petty worries. I am right where I need to be. My job is molding Gabriella into a smart, kind, God-fearing little girl. For anyone who wants to read the amazing story, Google, Bring the rain. It puts everything in perspective.