Yes, I am still alive

I think finally my single mother days are over. It seems like Nick is done with the major overtime. He still works over and goes to school, but at least we get to see him. Monday he came home from work sick. I personally think it is mainly fatigue but he has been having some nausea the past week. Not much has gone on the last few weeks except Gabby got two teeth! My baby is getting so big! Daniel and Damon spent the night Wednesday. Thursday while the weather had warmed a little, we packed a lunch and walked to the park. We passed a lady raking leaves. She looked up and said, "You have your hands full!" Damon just looked up at her and replied, "She sure does!" I laughed the whole way to the park. Of course, by the time we got there, ate lunch, and began to play, one of the boys had to go to the bathroom. They lock the doors to the bathrooms during the winter and this wasn't the type you could tell him to just go behind a tree. So, we loaded up and walked back. Those boys are so protective of Gabby. She loves playing with them. When we got back, mysteriously, no one had to go to the bathroom! After a while of playing outside, the boys eagerly came in for some hot chocolate. Daniel got so tickled when I told him he could use a big mug. He looked at Damon and said, "We can pretend this is coffee!"

Then, he crossed his legs and said, "So, what have you been up to?" I cracked up! He thought he was so big. It was so cute, I had to snap a picture. I can't believe I am saying this, but I actually am warming up to the idea of more children. We would probably have to adopt. The thought of going thru another pregnancy makes me cringe and Nick informed me the other day that my pregnancy sickness, "Got on his nerves". I apologized for getting on his nerves. I did remind him however that I am the one that pumped myself full of hormones and carried his child for nine months. I don't think we will go to the extent we did with Gabby. I love that little girl, but the strain that fertility puts on your marriage and love life is stressful! I knew God would bless us. I didn't know that he would use this to strengthen our relationship. I loved Nick when we got married, but I never imagined I would love him the way I do now. Friday night he made reservations to Bonefish Grill. It was nice to get some alone time. Saturday, after a long day of hunting, he came home and took care of Gabby so I could rest. More and more I am realizing that we are more of a team than I thought. You pretty much have to be these days. He said something the other day that made me realize he does appreciate me. He said, "Ronna, you don't have to work, but you do. You realize that we have personal goals that can be reached easier if you help out financially and I am going to try to do more around the house to help you." My time with Gabby is precious and there are several times I am crying on my way to work because I am having to leave her. But then I begin to think of something Tim said in one of his lessons. "Don't make your child the center of you and your spouse's attention. You can not forget about the relationship you have formed with your spouse." And although I think a child as young as Gabby demands the majority of your attention, I can't forget the commitment I made to Nick. I better save this so the next time he makes me mad I can read it!

Week 2 Of Single Motherhood

This has been another week of Nick working long, L-O-N-G hours. The last two nights though he has actually been home in time to see Gabby before she went to bed. It bothered Nick because at first she acted like she didn't know who he was. I have stayed busy Fall, "Spring Cleaning". Yesterday, I cleaned out drawers, closets and cleaned carpets. I wish I had my mother's "cleaning gene". She has always stayed on top of things. As I loaded my dishwasher, something I have put off doing for two days, I began to think about when I was young and everything my mother did for us. Don't get me wrong, my father did an excellent job providing for us. But my mother was the driving force of our house. When does it happen? When do we go from thinking everything our parents' say is stupid to realizing they actually do have some pretty good ideas? We moved to Athens when AT&T transferred my Dad to Huntsville. Not long after, the government decided the company was becoming a monopoly and my Dad lost his job when the company had to down-size. We sold the house and rented a one bedroom house. My parent's slept on a fold-out couch and my sisters and I shared the bedroom. Living in such a small house wasn't completely necessary but at the time that was the only thing available in the school district we were in. We loved our school and my parent's wanted us to go thru as little change as possible. I never worried nor was embarrassed about living in that house. In fact, I have a lot of fond memories from there. My mother cleaned houses and business offices at night to help with the income. She pinched, poked and squeezed every penny. I remember one time she went to Kroger when they were tripling coupons and saved $100.00! She was so excited and I had know clue why. But now I realize that meant there was a little extra that month and I am sure instead of spending it on herself she bought us something. And the economy was no better then than it is now. We always had clothes, and not that it matters, but cute clothes. We never did without. We might not have had everything we wanted but we had everything we needed and then some. My mother was always there for parties at school and for softball and basketball games. We always had way too many gifts at Christmas. My father worked a second job some Christmases just to make sure and he mowed lawns in the summer for extra money. Not long ago, Mom got a promotion and Dad quit mowing yards. I got a little teary eyed when I found out because I new what it meant. It meant that no longer did my parents have to worry about money. I never felt the stress of not having enough money and I know my parent's stressed in secret so we wouldn't worry. Now my parent's get to travel and splurge! I ask Mom a lot how they did it raising a family of five on one tight income. She says she never worried that there wouldn't be enough money for the necessities. She knew Dad would work 3 jobs if he had to. So, for some that think that they are doing a horrible job at motherhood, here are some words of wisdom. Not from me, but things I have learned from my parents. Tell your children you love them often. Sometimes to the point that they are sick of hearing it. Make memories everyday with your children. Give out hugs and kisses like it is candy at Halloween. Teach them about the awesome love and power of God and that God does provide. He might not answer your prayers just the way you want them to be answered but the way that is best for you. Believe me, they will forget about the fact they didn't get every toy they asked for. But they will never forget the time and love you spent making them happy, healthy, children of God.